Memories within the Chaos
While reading some of the old posts I’ve made on my old blog, I realized how much I’ve changed. 
It’s funny looking at the power of time. How it can dilute feelings of humiliation, hurt, and torment into a piece of humble, non-existent breath of air. It has managed to sift through my laughter, my joys, my winning possessions and pieced them together into a mosaic of happy memories.
Amidst the days of packing, unpacking and sifting through the relics that have defined my life over the short 20+ years, I came across a small package of memoirs. In a sudden flash I was transported back to a place of pure bliss, as well as a place of misery. My first boyfriend. My best friend.
I was just another young teenager and he was a rebel in his own world. Two people from opposite sides of the spectrum crossing paths and becoming good friends. While my life was about getting good grades and catching the latest movies with friends, his life was about working 2 jobs, making ends meet, and putting his defiled adolescent years behind him.
I always looked at him with envious eyes, thinking he was so worldly to have been through so much at such a young age, while he looked at me thinking I had a life that anyone could hope for. I had a loving family, adoring friends, parties every weekend, and teachers that loved me. For years I watched him with different girlfriends and I was always that good friend. Then it happened, we were together.
I think back to the 2 years that we spent together, relaying our deepest secrets to one another. The night at Nathan Philips Square where his best friend, my sister, him and I skated under the January night sky. The day when his younger brother tried to shoot us with his BB gun or when both him and I tried his best friend and my sister’s brownie creation. The roses he greeted me with. The first kiss. It was so perfect. Then it all changed. The broken promises. The lies.
For the longest time I blamed myself for the change in him, but to be honest it wasn’t him that changed. It was me. I grew out of my naive, innocent shell and I saw the truth. He was an amazing boyfriend to a younger me, and to another girl. But the older me just wasn’t compatible with him anymore.
Soon, a decade will have come and gone. He’s happy and married now. Unfortunately we do not keep in touch anymore, but from what I hear from his friends and sister, he is doing well. I wish him the best and for all the lessons and happy memories he’s given me.
Obrigado. Te amo demais, querido.
Ciao,
Victoria