I always get e-mail forwards from one of the Board of Directors. This one was pretty interesting, great breakdown of the economy. Ya anyways enjoy!
The Credit Crunch Explained
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers, most of whom are unemployed alcoholics, to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans).
Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of unemployed alcoholics flood into Heidi’s bar.
Taking advantage of her customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases her prices for wine and beer, the most popular drinks. Her sales volume increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the alcoholics as collateral.
At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items because (insert here the name of your financial advisor) recommended them as a good investment.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager of the bank, (subsequently of course fired due to his negativity), decides that the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi’s bar. But of course they cannot pay back the debts.
Heidi cannot fulfill her loan obligations and claims bankruptcy.
DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80 %.
The suppliers of Heidi’s bar, having granted her generous payment due dates, and having invested in the securities, are faced with a new situation.
Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor.
The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties.
The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.
I’ve been wanting to see this movie a long time now! And since my movie buddy opted out of it, I was going to see it with my girlfriends, but they saw it without me when I was away on business. So I went with someone else =) and he really enjoyed himself might I add =). Oh it’s only because we were deciding between He’s Just Not That Into You or Slumdog, and I decided on Slumdog.
We met up after work, took one car, got the tickets and headed to a local bar for dinner. He had a burger and I had their special cherry pork loin, Mmm it was sooo good. The night was going well besides the small fact that I was freezing my bloody ass off and my thong kept riding up, which he noticed by the way and laughed. See the weather dropped way below suddenly and I had not anticipated the sudden change in weather. It was the first day that my bosses were back from their business trip and I had to do the whole thing and welcome them back considering I was left in charge the week they were gone, so naturally I had to dress to impress. I had on a form fitting black sweater dress, with a thin gold/black belt and my “F*ck Me, Dorothy Red” pumps. Since the dress was pretty fitted, I had to make sure there wasn’t a severe case of PL, but I guess the one I picked wasn’t so good? It kept riding up! Ack!
But lets not get sidetracked on my undies now, so we got in the theatre, the ticket collector was a cute high school boy, if he gained a few pounds, add a few years he’d be a very good looking boy. Okay ya I was checking out a boy in High School, goodness I am such a cougar, but ya we got into the theatre and HOLY SHIT…it was packed! And on a Thursday night?! Oh right, aftermath of the Oscar hype. I look around for a seat and something else hits me Geez! Seniors night or something? My date and I were the youngest people there! Everyone else was 60+. We somehow got a seat on the side (oh well, can’t complain) and we got comfortable for the movie. Previews came on and seems like Clive Owen and Julia Roberts are due for a movie together, looking pretty good too. I took note that I would have to take a trip to the theatre for that one.
Onwards to the movie now, my favourite scene would have to be the picture shown up front, Little Jamal in the washroom. NO it’s not because I am suddenly obsessed with all things that are fecal, shit, poopies. It was just coincidentally and ironically my favourite scene. LOL.
To be honest I was sort of surprised at how ethnic it was, the movie’s first few minutes were a bit confusing, but I got the gist of it a bit later. There is some getting use to with the Indian accent in the beginning, but I think it’s only from the fat cop. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting the movie to be spoken in hindi so that was different, not in a bad way since I grew up watching foreign flicks with subtitles.
It made me sad to see how the events in the movie are things that happen in reality. I was sitting there having to tell myself over and over again that these things really do happen in real life and how grateful I am to be born where I am and have the things I have. Geez we’re so petty sometimes and look at a guy who has nothing and still lives life to the fullest, never judging, never hating, but just being honest, truthful and focused on his goals in life. Yes Jamal is a fictional character but he exudes traits that I believe we should all learn, his compassion for helping people in dire need of help even at a young age, his determination, his perseverance to go against the odds, to never let anyone determine your destiny.
But lets not get too serious and subdued here, there were a few things that bothered me in the movie, like how Latika at a young age looks nothing like herself older? She went from skinny bat child to India Cosmo cover model! Jamal and his brother Salim look nothing alike, I mean are they really brothers?? How is Jamal this round little thing and Salim a skinny little boy, Jamal looks like he belongs in some rich family, I guess the Mother’s been giving their food to Jamal this whole time…ahh this explains why Salim turned out to be the way he did! Gotcha! Oh and 14 year old Jamal and Salim…woah! How’d they go from cute, to THAT, to how they looked at 18. Come on Casting Director! India has one of the largest populations in the world, don’t tell me you couldn’t cast better people that could act as well!
Anyways there’s more, but whatever, I won’t judge. The musical score was awesome, it really helped tell the story. The scenes that showed the little tin roofs when the kids were running away was stunningly done, the Taj Mahal scene with the American portrayals was hilarious. I did feel the movie had some stagnant parts and it felt a bit dragged on at times, but other than that, superb at how the story unfolded and everything came back to where it all began. It’s rare to see creativity and originality used in most movies nowadays. I’m still a bit sad about the the bathtub scene, but other than that, the ending made my night. I was actually dancing in my seat and had all the seniors watch me. You know what? A couple actually got up half way and left during the movie! I mean WTF…was it really THAT bad?! Or maybe they had some family emergency? Hope not.
The movie ended early and we poked around for a bit before I went home.
Overall Rating: 9.6/10
I’m tired and is probably the reason why this post don’t flow and it talks about bits and pieces here and there. Oh well!
Alright i sort of lost count, I’ve been too busy and really, I don’t think I’m drinking enough water? But I swear I am! Alright so 5th day was quite epic, I had quite a huge dump that day, like never before OMG MOTHER OF PEARL sort of a release. It was amazing I actually felt 5lbs lighter. I have had something similar afterwards but nothing like that. I haven’t had any of those gross things yet. I have noticed I was pooping out things I ate days before, which is kind of freaky.
As of the last few days, it’s all normal. I am going to increase my intake of fibre maybe, drink more water and drink the Kleritea. OMG I’m so addicted to the Kleritea. I gave some to Eddie the other night and he loved it.
Nothing interesting, my tummy bloating is now all gone. I am now taking 4 capsules and 1 whole scoop of that Colonix Fiber stuff.
I really need to report back with some better things to tell you guys!
Oh right I realized I got hunger pangs the first 2 days of taking it, which is weird because it seems like nobody has gone through that on the internet, and I mean you can find ANYTHING on the internet, so maybe it’s just my hormones. I am sleeping like a baby now with the tea, so kudos for that, and I am not even drinking it every night!
They also call this the “Mandora” according to US Magazine. Fedora’s are back and with a vengeance Spring 2009. I personally don’t think it’s for everyone, but if you can rock it, oh please rock it. I’m getting tired of the caps, toques, doo-rag, gang styled head wraps, and the “I’m Chris Crocker” greasy, haven’t washed in days head. Bring the classy fedoras back!
Don’t believe me? Here take a look, Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, even Ashton! Come on now…it’s got to mean something.
If you’re a Fedora person and can totally rock out in one, I suggest getting one in a neutral colour such as dark brown, tan, grey, and black. Keep it simple. The last thing you want is to by something flashy, wear it once and never wear it again. Make sure the height of the Fedora and the width of the brim is right on your face.
Round Head:
Angle your hat and pick simple cuts. The angling will help give angle to the face instead a giant blob at the end of your neck. Find a fedora without a lot of excess detailing or fabric, it’ll just add weight and make your head look clumsy. This goes with any hat you choose as well.
Oval Face:
The one face shape that will look good in any sort of hats. So try it out!
Square Shaped Face:
Find a Fedora with a larger brim and has a bit of a curve to it, this will soften up any odd angles. But if you have that perfect, chiseled jaw-line, then hell accentuate the hardness of your face. Go crazy with the details.
Long Shaped Faces:
Find something that is short in depth, but wide in brim. Don’t angle the placement of your Fedora and just wear it simply low and straight. This will help shorten the length of your face as well play up the mystery a bit with the lower sitting hat.
Still finding the Perfect Fedora, well I found a great site that helps men pick out the perfect hat for their facial features and even tells you what suit you should wear what colors with. Check it out!
You know how they say “you learn something new everyday”? Well that’s exactly what happened. I found something out about myself that I never really knew still existed in me.
High School kids scare the shit out of me and high school office employees are up to par with librarians in the “stick up the ass” look and attitude.
My younger sister had called me earlier the week before and had asked me to head to our old high school and pick up her transcript for her. So being the good sister that I was am, I went to the school before work (of course a week AFTER later =D). I had parked my car in front of the Community Centre that’s attached to our old high school, I had exactly 12 minutes in the 10 minute zone before the anal ticket issuer would come around and give me a ticket. I was prompted to work fast or I could pay $3 and park at the parking lot….uh ya right!
So I opted to go the cheap route (obviously!) I rushed up the back stairs of the high school and into the main foyer. The foyer was PACKED with a literal sea of hormonally charged teenagers. I ducked and squeezed through the crowed. It would have been quite amusing to see the looks I got if I hadn’t suddenly been filled with a sense of disgust. Even though I’m way older than these kids, they all have about a good foot on me. I’m short think the Olsen twins, Kristin Bell Christina Ricci. It’s okay I’ve accepted the fact that I’m vertically challenged, but that doesn’t stop the curious looks that I got from curious eyes. Girls stopped mid-sentence to look at the unfamiliar estrogen addition to the halls, doing the whole sizing up thing, but realized that I was probably another substitute teacher. Seriously is it me or do high school girls look a whole lot younger now?! Okay maybe just my high school because from the HS school girls I see on the internet, those girls look old! Anyways the zitty teenage boys moved shifted their sexually peaked gazes at me with hopeful eyes, of course once their eyes made contact to the rest of me they were disappointed that there wasn’t any fresh meat.
Honestly now, I wasn’t wearing anything that screamed “LOOK AT ME!” I was in a baby blue camisole, a light tanned cashmere sweater with dark grey pinstriped trousers, a black peacoat and pointy black stilettos. I had my white leather slough bag and my blackberry in hand.
Okay so the normal 10 second walk to the main office took me a few minutes due to the congestion. I squeezed, ducked, “excused” myself into the office. Once I got there I had to take a few deep breaths and compose myself, I probably looked like a tornado had hit me, YES, it was THAT cramped. It was probably a new term and kids were rushing in and out trying to get their schedules and rushing to their classes. I walked up to the office counter and waited. It’s interesting to see how much bad service you get at a high school, a few minutes passed before someone rudely asked me what I had wanted. I told them I was there to pick up transcripts for . Of course the lady looked confused and began looking through her non-existent pile of documents for the transcripts. This whole process took another few minutes before she told me to sit down and wait while she looked into it. At this point a nice line had formed with more high school kids. The faker sickers that wanted to sign out to go home, the one girl that needed her schedule but an entourage of 20 shows up with her, the freshmen kids that were still stuck between the sing-a-long with Dora and oogling over Zac Efron comes in. I had my back to the glass window that showed the activities of the crowded hallways. I could feel the wandering eyes that seared into my skull. Even with 3000 at school, it was always fascinating to see new people at school. The most amusing thing was eavesdropping into random bits of high school conversation in the office, a girl that complained about how much she hated her parents because they didn’t upgrade her ipod touch to an iphone. Another wanting to kill herself because her parents wouldn’t let her go to some guy’s party or a guy showing off to his friends talking about beating up so-and-so, it was wild I tell ya. It quickly brought me back to my days of high school, when I suffered enough drama to last a lifetime.
Anyways after making me wait 15 minutes, at which I was ready to start shooting people if I had a gun, because let me tell you SOMEBODY WILL GET HURT REAL BAD if I got a ticket. The lady at the reception desk was a real stick-in-the-bum, and I mean that literally, it was like she had a 2-headed dildo rammed up her ass. She lacked personality, if any at all, she lacked something called social etiquette. She was downright mean, either her husband’s not giving her any or she’s just had one of those FML days. Either way I got the transcript, headed to my car and *PHEW* my car is STILL there and ticket free =D Oh thank the big guy upstairs!
So conclusion? I realized I NEVER want to work at a high school nor a library because that’s where all those people are that are rude, don’t smile and needs a good roll in the hay with Antonio Sabato Jr…er…okay sorry that was sooooo circa The Big Hit, okay fine, roll in the hay with Hugh Jackman? Brad Pitt? Chris Evans? Matt Loewen?
I’m definitely coming down with something, my stomach’s been burning itself up the whole day, it’s between really bad heartburn and just spasms that leave my whole body cold. I did the whole wanting to puke thing, now it’s just discomfort. Am I dying?
Alright maybe it’s time to just lie on it. Warm liquids and probiotic meds are not working. I repeat, NOT working.
Upcoming posts S: (stay tuned!)
-2nd part of Men’s Fashion Trends 2009
-Women’s Fashion Trends 2009
-Breakdown of all the medicinal/herbal properties of Colonix
-My Asia Trip Con’t! (hopefully before I leave for Asia again)
-The Colon Cleans of Epic Proportions Con’t!
Just cuz I’m addicted to this website and it makes me laugh…here have one…and look it goes with our current blog theme
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend’s place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, “I heard everthing.” FML
Third day on this thing and I realized something, this is not a good product to use when you’re traveling. Not that you suddenly get the Shit Marathon happening, but it’s that you’re so concentrated on traveling, you just ignore the slight wants of wanting to go poopie and you end up not doing so. Either way I’ve figured that the more days you take it the stronger the effects, or simply because I forgot about my Kleritea last night and had it steeping for a good 4 minutes instead of the usual 2. Anyways you feel it in the morning when you’re lying in bed, your tummy and the end of your anus feels somewhat “full.” And usually by the second cup/glass/mug of WARM water (I find warm water is more effective) you feel that nudge in your anal opening. I know how you all love the descriptive passages in these Colon Cleaning posts I have up! =)
Anyways the stools have been nice and uh…fluffy? The one in the morning looked like sesame and milk gone bad (minus the smell and colour of bad milk). Funny, I haven’t had sesame since December! Hahahaha. Oh dear….
I’ve been getting slight urges to go here and there but it seems like it doesn’t want to come out when I get stage freight, so too bad for me!
Not bad, the poo sessions are quick, but normally they are for me naturally, I don’t know I’m waiting for this stuff to kick in, although it has softened all this shit up to a point where I feel like it’s baby food than the usual log like substance.
I have found myself becoming more thirsty as of late and I seem to crave water only. Weird.
My friend just sent this picture to me and asked me if I have a twin or have been naughty because he found a picture of this girl on some naughty site that looks exactly like me…minus the eyebrows and my top lip is plumper. Apparently even her bust looks like mine as well. I dunno guys…her dress is pretty hot though! But ya I’ll let you decide and you can Tweet me.
