Victoria Grace Nation

According to dictionary.com

change [cheynj] Show IPA verb, changed, chang⋅ing, noun
noun

1. to become different: Overnight the nation’s mood changed.
2. to become altered or modified: Colors change if they are exposed to the sun.


Changes happen all around, at the most seemingly random places or when you’re least expected. One day we’re perfectly healthy, the next we could be lying on our death beds. One moment we could be going in to work, the next finding out that you have won 49 million dollars. Changes come big and some come small, but nonetheless it happens all around us.


Why can’t we just live in the moment? Why can’t I?


…until it’s too late.


It’s usually the smallest decisions that make the greatest impact. For now it seems as though my whole life is going through some erratic changes, the new chapter that’s unfolding before my eyes, but at the same time it’s still the same. The scenery is the same, but the colours are different…more vibrant.


People are leaving my life left and right, but at the same time some are slowly being introduced into it. No matter if it’s through the departure of death, fallouts, lifestyle changes or what not, others will always arrive in the forms of birth, introduction, and simple ripening of affinities.


Until the end of my journey with whoever or whatever, I will appreciate the things I have and the people that are around me.


Change is like Life. It keeps going and happening even if you’re not ready for it.

I’m definitely coming down with something, my stomach’s been burning itself up the whole day, it’s between really bad heartburn and just spasms that leave my whole body cold. I did the whole wanting to puke thing, now it’s just discomfort. Am I dying?


Alright maybe it’s time to just lie on it. Warm liquids and probiotic meds are not working. I repeat, NOT working.


Upcoming posts S: (stay tuned!)
-2nd part of Men’s Fashion Trends 2009
-Women’s Fashion Trends 2009
-Breakdown of all the medicinal/herbal properties of Colonix
-My Asia Trip Con’t! (hopefully before I leave for Asia again)
-The Colon Cleans of Epic Proportions Con’t!

So this morning while I milled about my usual morning routine, I listened nonchalantly at the usual morning radio program I am so accustomed to. They talk about a lot of useless crap that I can usually turn into interesting conversation at work, but as of late it’s been mainly about relationships and dirty sex jokes. But anyways the DJ’s started talking about the new terms and conditions of Facebook. You see I’ve been a FB user before it got popular. I was on it when it was just a simple database of names, when you’re only allowed to sign up if you were part of an association (ie post secondary, large business, etc) I always knew about the terms and conditions about Facebook owning your pictures and information once you put it on Facebook, but I guess I never really gave a crap due to my overpowering sense of vanity and my intense craving for attention usually gets the best of me, so fuck terms and conditions, let the world see pictures of me! But really now, I’m a changed woman, I enjoy my solitary moments and like to be behind the scene. Anyhoo so apparently they changed their terms and conditions as of late, saying that even if you delete posted pictures or items, Facebook still has the right to uphold your pictures & information and use them. WELL double-you-tee-eff! A huge outcry was unleashed by the general public and after I believe a short while after, they had reverted back to the old terms…but it’s clear that it’s just temporary until they figure something out. Pretty much they’re going to find lawyers and see how they can change the wording to the clauses so they can’t get sued when they decide to keep all our information.


Okay so at this point of the radio show, I’m still busy washing my face, sitting on the crapper, you know the usual, when a caller calls in to tell about her story. Apparently a family member of hers (whose in high school by the way) was at a shopping mall when she saw her bloody vacation photo on some ad. It was her in a bikini and it was on some ad at the mall. Of course she was flabbergasted, the only place she has that picture stored is on her computer and on Facebook. So really now, do I honestly want to see horrific pictures of myself as a billboard for say… pregnant ladies and abortion clinics when in fact it was just a photo of me after a large Mexican meal and the “bulge” is actually a plate of refried beans I had previously wolfed down? Come on now…lets leave this shit to people like Rihanna, Paris, Oprah okay?


Then another caller calls, she works for some huge developer company and told the radio DJ’s that Facebook, among other high profiled companies are subsidized by the government of the United States and the information that they want is so they can keep a good tab on their citizens as well as the general world populace. I mean who wouldn’t? You’re essentially a type and click away from Stalkersville, I know exactly what my exes, ex friends, past teachers, employers are doing on a daily basis. I usually know when so and so just made dinner or so-and-so just broke up with her boyfriend on Friday, went out drinking with her best guy friend on Saturday and they ended up sleeping together by Sunday. I mean SHIT people post EVERYTHING on Facebook. And then there’s the girls that wear little to nothing, trying to show off their goods and boost their low self-esteem, knowing very well that any of their friends can go in, copy and paste their shit to the world and of course now Facebook will give your picture to other sources. Anyways, because I’m tired, I have a point to this thread! I am deciding if I should just delete all the crap off my Facebook. I know I have some messed up drunken photos that I rather not get into the hands of the public, no NOT nudies, but like me licking a cartoon girl with her legs spread apart on my friend’s torso when we were really really drunk. Ya…okay lets not go there.


But creepy, to know that even though we can delete our account, pictures or whatever, it’s still on the Facebook server. Oh ya a caller called in, he said he deactivated his account and deleted it a year ago, went back to get his account and found out his account is still up with everything the same….YOWSERS!

So I sat in on a lecture today by Living Buddha Lian Sheng. He spoke about the current economic and environmental issues and how the world seems to be in dark times and then mentioned something that I thought rang true to me. He spoke about how the world is perceived by our observations. From what I learned in a Cultural and Heritage course I took years ago, the professor said humans observed by our 5 senses (sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch). The information (data) is then uploaded into our brains, where past knowledge, experiences and current emotional state will help determine the conclusions of your thoughts and perceptions on the matter at hand. So in other words, we came out of the womb to be masters of being biased bitches. (woop tee!)

Example:
[1 ] Rover the dog who just got hit by a car would mean a devastating day for Bob and Jane whose had Rover since he was a pup. It would be an empathetic moment for Susan, the dog lover once she hears about it. But a person who does not know Rover, Bob or Jane, personally would not give a second thought.

Hey what’s that popular phrase/concept called? Oh right Not In My Own Backyard. Hmm…

[ 2 ] Bob brings Indian cuisine home for him and an expecting Jane for dinner. Bob was craving butter chicken with a side of garlic naan. Once Jane sees it she runs to the bathroom puking her bloody guts out because expecting mothers are more sensitive to smell, as well, 15 years ago, Jane went to India on vacation, ate something bad and had the runs for 2 weeks. Jane comes back grouchy because the house smells of Indian food now, she wants to gag for the 2nd time and she’s hungry, she feels her night is ruined.

Depending on a person’s experience or emotional state at the time, perceived matters can effect people in huge ways.


So back to what Living Buddha Lian Sheng was saying, before I went off on my “what I thought to have been intelligent” tangent, Optimism creates a better world. No it’s not going to end world poverty or stop natural disasters, but it will help a person sleep better, relax a bit, and maybe lessen that thought of suicide because he/she is one paycheck from living on the streets. Lian Sheng said as humans, we tend to see peoples’ faults. When a thought arises we’re usually judgmental and negative [due to our insecurities] and our surroundings is created by our attitude towards life. He asked why we tend to see peoples’ faults and never their positive traits. “There is no one in this world that is perfect, we come to this world as an example of imperfection.” Such a simple sentence and yet so true. He said, “I might be a living Buddha, but I am still human, unlike the buddhist statues behind me, I am not gold, I may wear clothes of golden colors, but under these clothes I am not gold. I am imperfect just like you.”


It’s funny, seeing someone so full of wisdom and with so much caliber to just say “hey I’m human and I’m imperfect, but I still strive to be better.” It makes me bow my head in shame at how arrogant a person I am, when all I’ve done is live 20+ years, eating, sleeping, and wasting money on useless materialistic items, when I can be a bit more optimistic, less judgmental and better myself. The world is how we make it to be, so is life. Seriously, why don’t we be a little more optimistic, a little less judgmental and live a happier life? I mean when I’m depressed, it doesn’t matter if the sun is shining, the birds are singing, it means I’m friggin’ depressed and it’s raining in my own damn world! So selfish and yet so true for all of us. People are not perfect, the world is not perfect, and we’re all going to end up the same in the end; dead. So why do we still waste precious time dwelling in our own misery about financial matters, relationships, fights with friends, when the inevitability of death will take all that away? (Okay someone please remind me to fish this blog out and read this when I’m in one of my selfish depressed states, ya k thanks!)


Living Buddha Lian Sheng, spoke of how his best Chinese New Year was a night when he pulled out a thatched mat and sat outside his house watching the stars and the moon. He said it was the best because his mindset was at ease and he was relaxed and happy. He claims that it doesn’t have to be the most elaborate, luxurious celebrations, it could be the simplest, if you are content, than every moment will be the best.


He encouraged us to begin creating a better world for ourselves.

So as of this morning sometime around 3am, I threw myself AT the E-Bay bandwagon. Yes, you read correctly, not on, but at. When it comes to matters of the world wide web, I have given myself some strict guidelines:

-No MySpace
-No E-bay
-No Pay pal
-No WoW
-No dancing half naked/naked for people on webcam
-No taking/sending nude pictures of myself


Okay those were the only ones that I could think of at the top of my head just now. So last night, I managed to break 2 of those 6 rules listed. I’ll let you guess, and NO it’s not the last 2!


Okay people, so why did I finally get an E-bay & Paypal account after so many years of living in the old world? Yes I just told you the” oh-so hard to figure out” answer.


I needed to buy something. Not just anything, there’s this white and red cashmere herringbone scarf that I can’t find anywhere else via the Interwebs. I did see one at some swanky shopping center in Hong Kong, but I was too lazy then to get it and now it hit me that I MUST get it to match my red and white herringbone, leather/wool gloves with the cute little bow on back. Oh god please kill me as I sound more and more like an annoying cast member in The Devil Wears Prada. I digress. So yada yada, I registered, I have $0 in my Paypal account but who cares! I’m in a bidding war. And not with just anyone, but with some person whose got over 30 items that they’re bidding for, ranging from girly accessories to dresses of all sorts. I mean honestly, do people seriously stay at home, bid on 50 items and watch it like they watch the stock market? Why in the name of all that is cuddly and furry do that?!

I guess I will seriously never understand people. I did have a friend who use to buy jeans off E-bay and probably 5 out of the 30 pairs she’ll get that month would be fake. Mmm Rock n’ Republicans FTW!!11


It’s Saturday night and I’m only at home because I have to get up early tomorrow for Chinese New Year celebrations. I won’t be home until Monday night, so no blogging until late Monday night I guess.

Okay I’ve been so badly jetlagged, I get hungry at the oddest times, I don’t sleep until the mornings..which is bad considering the fact that I have work the next morning! I slept at 6am last night and I got precisely 3 hours of sleep before I got up and went to work. Thank you for 11am office hours! But I’m exhausted. I’ve been working on a blog for 2 days, researching madly, for it. I’m sure I’ll be done tomorrow.


Seriously I can’t seem to fall asleep? I need remedies. Or maybe I should just put my phone on silent and not answer my friend’s phone calls =P

Okay I’m going to take my friend Ashley’s advice and SLEEP.

So I sound like a ditz?! A Valley Girl?! And nobody has had the heart to tell me for the past 20+ odd years that I’ve been alive?!

This is incredible.

This topic only resurfaced again when Rainer mentioned that I sounded Singaporean when I was out shopping with him. WTF. I’ve heard Singaporean and to be quite frank he sounds more Singaporean than I do, not that I anything against Singaporeans or anything.

Then Lennie, a friend of mine mentioned that I had an accent and it all started. So after a bit of probing on my part of have 3 other people stating that I have a tendency to sound a bit…ditzy.

WTF!!! You’re all going to die!

I thought it was just me, but seriously I feel as though that a lot of men in China are absolute slimeballs! So during my flight back from An Fei Province into Shen Zhen International Airport, I ran into a little issue with this guy in China. I’ve always had issues with both men and women staring at me all the time, but the problem is 100x worse in China. I have no idea why people stare, I mean it would make sense if I was some 5′10, goddess like creature, but frankly, I’m not. So I was on a 2 hour flight and due to the fact that I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep during my trip to An Fei Province in China, I tried to get the most of the snooze time on the flight, before I had to endure more travelling.


So the plane lands in Shenzhen and even before the plane reaches the ground completely (let alone stops completely) people were taking out their cell phones and calling their family and friends to pick them up. Needless to say I was somewhat scared that I was meeting my death real soon. The social norm in China is quite different with what I’m use to, but I’ll further delve into that in another post. But yes back to the perverted men of China. So as I was saying, everyones buckling out of their seats even before the plane stops and the narrow walkway of the small plane was congested with agitated Chinese folks all waiting to get off and onwards in their busy lives. I really have no idea why, since the doors weren’t open and people were just standing there blocking everyone else. But tiny ol’ me was pushed and forced into the human congestion and I somehow ended up standing in the single filed line. There was a huge Chinese man that sat a row ahead of me, adjacent to my seat. He was big for a Chinese guy, looked like a Northern folk with a crew cut, thick accent where his R’s rolled nasally in a deep baritone. He sat next to a woman that was obviously his significant other, she had massive curls on her head and light overly dyed auburn hair. I only noticed the man when he obnoxiously coughed and snorted hork that was stuck in the back of his throat as well as loudly yawning to a point that every single person 6 rows upfront would turn and look. He was rude.


So I stood their politely waiting for the queued up line to go. The obnoxious man was still sitting as his seat and it seemed as though my boobs were at his eye level. Okay so he turns his head and he gets an eyeful of my scarf with a bit of my lady bumps. Normally any guy would just look the other way when they realize that the owner of those bumps had caught the innocent contact. But no….his eyes lingered for a few seconds too long as his eyes slowly moved north and took in the rest of my body, my neck, my jawline, than my face. His beady eyes lingered on my face for a solid 2 minutes while I tried not to look at him. I can feel his eyes burning into my face. I was relieved when the people in front of me started moving. He actually left his wife and started following me. Once I got into the airport I got out of the school of people and waited on the side to wait for the rest of my group. My Mother met up with me later and she forcefully grabbed me and spun me around back into the crowed of people as she spoke into my ear “Do you know that man was staring at you like he was undressing you with his eyes and raping you like a raggety old doll back on that plane. I could see him 4 rows down! Why didn’t you do anything? Why is he following you?”


Okay that’s not even the worst part, so now I’m walking down the airport to the baggage area with our private tour guide (a local) on one side, my mother on the other and a friend of mine in front of me trying to hide me from this guy who kept staring and following us. They all saw how outrageous he was staring at me and they wanted to get me out of there. That creepy guy had the nerve to fish out his phone and tried to take a picture of me while I was walking. My friend actually snapped at him and it was like he couldn’t even hear or see, he just kept staring and following us. It was almost as bad as the time 2 Chinese men in suits caught me outside my hotel room and they came up to me, rubbed their bodies on me and asked me what I was doing and if it wasn’t for my Aunt with her fucked up,I’m a crazy psycho perm who came out to my rescue me, I would have been toast.


Men in China I tell ya, it’s like they can do whatever they want when they get horny! FUCK.

I just accidentally deleted almost ALL my comments on my site! LOL HAHAHHHAHHAA

While I was driving home last night, something on the radio really touched me and made me think. The DJ was talking about a young 11 year old, suffering from Leukemia. His name was Brenden Foster who spent his sick days helping the community and really ‘paying it forward’. When asked about his time he said:


“I had a great time, and til my time has come, I will keep having a great time”

Those words so simple and yet I feel as though most of the world doesn’t really get those words spoken. This young boy is 11, his life has not even begun to start yet and already he is planning for the end. The fact that even though his life is ticking away, he is able to detach himself from the worries, from the materialistic things that can hold him back and turn him bitter. Who can honestly say that we can say that? To be able to die in a short period of time and not abide in the world that we will be leaving behind. I mean I don’t think I can do it, or not yet at least.


What does it take for us to stop for a moment and really smell those bloody roses? I mean I look around me, the house that I dwell in, the city that I live in and sometimes I forget to see that I live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I forget to cherish relationships in my life, or even the simplest things.


Little Brenden might only be 11 years old, but that statement proves that wisdom truly grows in the most unlikely places and not particularly with age.


Update: Sadly Brenden Foster has passed on.