Victoria Grace Nation

1)Don’t get drunk, make out with one of your best guy friends and have the guy you’re ACTUALLY seeing, be there at the same time.


2) Don’t go to your girl friend’s birthday party and stalk her girl friend who has a boyfriend, completely forget about the birthday girl, then proceed to take her home and 2 weeks later, start going out with this girl WITHOUT telling the birthday girl first.


So during one of Victoria’s crazy parties, it’s naturally expected to have odd things happen here and there. One year 3 girls broke out and started making out, some nipple sucking, flashing cameras, 3 way kisses, it was wild. Another time, even after a whole toothpick have dived into my foot and it was brutally infected, I hosted a crazy party, by 4am I wasn’t able to walk. Oh and a memorable one was when a small girls night out turned into a house party where over 400 were in and out of the place and by midnight, over $10,000 worth of stuff was taken. All the laptops in all 7 rooms were taken, so were all precious entertainment sets, etc. It’s naturally expected that something will happen, like that one time when my girlfriend and I went out, bumped into an acquaintance of mine who tried to pick my gf up, somehow we were in another city eating, a guy was lying half in the car and half in the parking lot and drowning in his puke. Anyways you get the picture.


I was just talking to a friend of mine, Jacob about a recent party we were at. Jacob’s a nice guy, in his mid 20’s, he had worked his way through university. When I say worked I don’t mean the local Starbucks, I mean this guy worked his way up through multiple large companies. By the time he was done university he was offered a large enough salary to make him relocate to a sunny place in the country. Jacob comes back to town every other weekend, he pretty much goes where the party takes him. For a petite guy, he’s got quite a athletic physique and always showing it off in fitted jackets or dress shirts. Jacob is the type who has his own GQ style with rockstar hair. Anyways so he hears that I’m back in town and wants to meet up with me for some drinks and party the night away (typical) and he brings up the last party we were at together.


So the music was blaring, and the place was still waiting for the rest of the guests to show up, so naturally during the long wait period, drinks would be initiated. Well soon enough people were tipsy, some were wasted and feeling like they owned the place. Poor girl got so drunk, ends up making out with her best guy friend. I mean that’s bad enough, but oh ya did I mention the guy she was STILL “seeing” (they weren’t officially together, they didn’t act like a couple in public, but they had “feelings” towards one another —>*eye roll*) Anyways the poor guy was there, lurking around the party, apparently he was the quiet type, didn’t like the party crowed, whereas she’s the social butterfly. We’ll call this girl “Slut Girl” for dramatic effect, the so-called boyfriend the “Poor Guy” and we’ll call the best friend, the “Best Friend”. Alright so apparently Slut Girl was completely wasted in her short dress…probably flashing her panties for all to see. She was probably throwing out her slutty vibes out and the innocent Best Friend and her ends up making out. From dance floor to the bar to the plush couches, oy please someone get the tranquilizer gun and a cage. The Poor Guy who was being the supportive boyfriend dressed in his best and came to this party knowing it’ll make Slut Girl happy. Well Poor Guy was left in the cold since the girl he had feelings for was running off with Best Friend and her other friends. Slut Girl and Poor Guy ended up breaking up, saying both felt like the timing was off, apparently Poor Guy felt that way and was glad they had ended things. Slut Girl and Best Friend weren’t talking after that, especially when Best Friend didn’t even know Slut Girl had a boyfriend, she hid it from both of them the whole time! DISGRACE!


So the party Jacob and I went to was a huge birthday party for this girl. All these people were invited and Birthday Girl had invited an old college friend, we’ll call her “Unavailable.” She had taken the bus and came alone in hopes to just see the Birthday Girl and party with her. Well then Birthday Girl’s friend, we’ll call him Stalker Boy, see’s Miss Unavailable and starts to advance on her. Well considering the fact that Miss Unavailable had a boyfriend, she gave him the cold shoulder. But he just wouldn’t give up! He ended up offering her a ride home, she accepted. Apparently he took her out for a midnight snack and exchanged contact information. Within a day, he was inviting her out around town to hang out and she accepted! WTF. After having a fun day out, Stalker Boy is now asking her personal commitment questions..guess Stalker Boy means business! In 3 weeks Miss Unavailable, became available and they’ve been together ever since.

Don’t move in with a girl when you’re still banging other chicks..oh wait my bad, getting other chicks to suck you off.


So my friend Raj, a young man in his 20’s (I won’t say early, mid or late) has been leading a life a lot like my friend Rainer, but this one has more emotional involvement and mind games involved, whereas Rainer has the physical down-pat. Raj has been stealing female hearts since his hazel, green eyes and tan complexion has developed. Born and raised in a wealthy family, he grew up privileged, going to the best private boy school, vacationing in remote tropical islands during vacation time and entertaining his friends in his multi-millionaire house. Yes the typical rich kid story.


So recently Raj has informed me he was seeking for a place to move-out to, you can call it leaving the nest,which is rare because that means he can’t be living off his parents anymore. But anyways he ended up finding an apartment at the swankiest part of town and got himself, what I thought was a bachelor pad. WRONG! I mean Raj is a real character when it comes to social skills, especially with the ladies. Multiple girlfriends and emotional relationships, while having other girls suck him off at the back of his expensive car before catching a late dinner with his girlfriend.


I would be finding a message later on, him telling me that he’s moved in with his current girlfriend, the one that he was having bedroom acrobatic issues with and was trying to seek other acrobatic partners elsewhere. So now he’s taken the leap and living with this girl, while trying to maintain a monogamous relationship with her…of course I forgot to mention this one girl on the side, nothing really, just an emotional clear up that needs to happen. Other then that, he’s already figured out how to juggle other girls once he gets tired of his new living arrangements. Congrats?

1) Don’t get lychee martini on your John Lobbs, a cigarette hole on your Prada jacket when at a bar and whatever you do DO NOT drop your favourite Marc Jacob bag in the toilet.

2) It really helps to be successful, rich, and good looking while in times of a Recession.


1) So my friend Rainer and I have been once again exchanging e-mails. He’s apparently getting a new car. Normally I don’t have a problem with people getting new cars, even for people like him who owns enough luxury cars for 3 families. Okay no it’s not because there’s a general world economic crisis that’s going on that’s made me question his purchasing behavior, but it’s the fact that just less than 6 weeks ago when I went on a $2K shopping spree with him on shoes, he was just telling me about his upcoming plans. Pretty much it was leaving his job and live the life of an ivy leaguer for the next 2 years, hitting on supple varsity girls, partying and forking out HUGE $$ for his MBA at a prestious school like Harvard or something. I mean why wouldn’t he? He got over 96% on his GMAT and a load of cash. After that I believe he wanted to just spend some time in Europe being a successful business guy by day and a playboy by night. Yes I know…*eye roll* So naturally when I heard about his new ideas of getting a new car, I just had to probe a bit, so that lead us to a lengthy exchange of e-mails and messages via blackberry. So in one of the e-mails he tells me about these killer John Lobb shoes we saw and never got due to sizing issues. Let me tell you, we spent most of the day there trying on the same pair over and over, those shoes were pure sex and neither him or I was ready to leave empty handed…but we did, until we got to the actual John Lobb store and he left with over $2KUSD of shoes (2 pairs to be exact). Rainer apparently bought a third pair without me, the same pair that he and I were drooling over. The email goes further into his woes…

…About 2 hrs after I bought them I went to a bar and someone spilled a lychee martini leaving a small but permanent spray pattern in the leather. Whoops. I shall remember never to wear my lobbs to bars. ;). The next week someone burned a cigarette hole thru my favorite prada jacket. I shall remember to always coat check. You see I’m still picking up life lessons.

Then the email goes into how his buddy from France had come to visit him for 3 days. Just hearing that I knew it was major trouble. Whenever his buddy and him get together, you know there’s always something going down that night. Rainer had met this guy in Germany at some bar, yes, the same bar where the men and womens’ washroom is only separated by hanging mirrors and a waterfall. Anyhoo, Rainer offered this guy an interning job and this friend who we shall call Victor, accepted and he was in Rainer’s city for 3 months “working” together. Well they did work in the day and at night they partied and slept with every single girl in the city…naturally. Victor is some debutante in France, his parents own some huge company in Switzerland and they’re well known in their professional field, his best friend is this famous girl crooning singer in France (think the JT of France). For some odd reason unknown to mankind, Victor looks up to Rainer in ways that makes me think that Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist were actually best friends instead of lovers. But I digress.


I responded back to the email with my sad story of placing my Marc Jacob bag on the built in ledge in the bathroom stall of this ritzy restaurant I was at and when I turned around to do my business *PLOP* my leather bag falls in the damn toilet!! Talk about being choked!


2) So what gives? My friend Rainer is living large still even when the suicide toll is rising daily in some parts of the business world. Hmm I think I’m going to sleep on this one before I write more…

Always call the next day after engaging in a long session of bedroom acrobatics with another person, ESPECIALLY if she knows people you know.


So my friend Rainer has a thing for hitting up temporary girls. What does that mean? It means a hot, fuckable chick that is only in the city for a short period of time OR they have to be rich, hot and have a high potential of leaving the city. Anyways so every now and then, Rainer and I would chit chat via Blackberry. Conversations consist of us trading juicy scandals within our lives, whose lives we’ve ruined, plans of future treachery or debauchery, boast about the city’s hottest parties and latest purchases (think hottest runway items), etc. In other words, we catch up.


Rainer is a person of chameleon properties, he can adapt himself to most surroundings, most of the time changing his environment to suit him. His ability to look like a college jock to a sophisticated, successful person of credibility is uncanny. With these abilities, he is able to lure almost anyone he wants, and this he does oh so very well. During some fine wining and dinging with him earlier this year, he told me this story about how he went to Germany for work and went to some club on his own, and when I say alone, I don’t mean in a sense where creepy men go into clubs, linger in the shadows and try desperately to pick up someone. No, this guy goes into a club and comes out with a list of numbers in his pockets, his genitalia satisfied, a girl on his left arm, a model on his right, and a group of other girls with new guy friends he’ll meet. So he goes to this club, checks out the crowed, locates a target within a group of people who seemed to be in their early to mid-twenties, obviously with a bit of money and connection. The target seemed to have been working the small crowed while men were following his cue, girls were all over him. Rainer made his move and by the end of the night, he was best friends with this guy who turns out to be a the heir of some monstrous Swiss Pharmaceutical Enterprise, living in France. His friends consist of other French socialites, famous celebrities, etc.

Rainer leads a total life of slutism, his sex count in a month could possibly surpass the count of someones whole life. He’s like Elizabeth Taylor, but minus the marriages; the charisma, the looks, the # of partners.


Since I will be gracing him with my presence this month during my multi-city work/vacation trip, I thought I’d find out the weather there for packing reasons. Anyways we ended up messaging each other for hours like we usually do and we got caught up. Here’s a snip bit of the conversation.


Victoria: So what exciting stories of sex and scandal is happening in Rainer’s life?

Rainer: Some chick approached a friend of mine at a local watering hole and asked if he was friends with Rainer. This is how their conversation went.
“Yeah, I know Rainer”
“He’s so bad! He never calls the next day”
“Nah Rainer’s a nice guy”
Lol. Best part is I apparently showed up at that point and she went scampering away. I don’t even know who she is but she’s destroying my rep!


The last thing you want is any of your women meeting each other and having a huge confessional to avoid all the drama. Make sure to cover your tracks and play the total gentlemen so women don’t hate on you, even when you’ve grown tired with this girl. Cover your tracks!


Great, he’s now encouraging me to PUNK my ex with Ashton! What a bad influence.

1) Don’t wake up in a cheap motel room, with vomit all over your hair and a stranger staring back at you.

A girlfriend of mine, we’ll call her Em, is a person I grew up with since childhood. We went through the days of playgrounds, puberty, public transit, house parties, crazy club nights, even shopping in the middle of the night, or karaoking with a bunch of drug dealers. Due to Em’s job and her iridescent past, you can say she’s quite well known around town. From the man that can sell you an AK-47 with pink diamond encrusted handles to the Marketing Director of one of the top hotels in the city. She’s walked with the scummiest, chatted with the highest, partied with the raunchiest, and even debated with the most intellectuals of our city. She’s the type of girl who can spend hours conversing with anyone for hours and after it’s all done, she would have convinced you to either do something, join something, or buy/sell something, I’m sure if she could even talk the Pope into converting into a Buddhist. But I digress. Em is one of those people that you can spontaneously call up to do whatever, no matter if it’s a late night coffee run or a sudden shopping spree weekend in LA, she is always down with a smile.

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